'How on earth am I going to support all these people? This can be a huge issue if you hate your job and dream of escaping. Many men find fatherhood and the reality of childcare such a shock that they fear the second baby will only make matters worse - only this time they'll be pushed further down the list of their wife's priorities.
It's a biological fact that young children kill a couple's sex life.
This is one of the most hurtful acts of infidelity.
After all, the two people you trust the most are your partner and your best friend. This was the case for Julia, who sought my help after discovering her husband had a two-year affair with her friend.
Such extreme betrayal can make your husband or wife seem like a stranger.
So let's start by asking, what kind of people have affairs?
Take the wife who came to me when she discovered at eight months' pregnant that her husband was addicted to internet porn and was having countless one-night stands with women he met online.It's also true to say that the most unlikely of people are able to use the internet to explore their secret sexual peccadilloes in a way they never could before.There's no fantasy too sordid for the online world. But there are deeper causes for extreme betrayal than the mere easy access that the internet offers.However, for lots of people recovery is not so straightforward and takes far longer than they would have imagined on discovery day.Sometimes the person who has been unfaithful vows to do 'anything' to make it better, but the next day sabotages everything.Andrew also claims that a woman who embarks on an affair does so not out of lust or desire, but because she has a problem with her marriage. I've lost count of the men who tell me 'she was too good a mother and not a good wife'.